Don’t wish away their childhood! Gag.

Another day, another twee post about how being a mother is the bestest thing in the whole wide world and you should treasure every moment, not letting messes get you down because you’ll miss that some day and every child you produce represents the best you can do with your life. Holy fucking shit I want to shove a stuffed animal into each person’s mouth who has become overly sentimental about living with kids. The premise here is that we should always be thankful, relaxed, patient, kind, and if possible keep our heads bent to the side to stop and smell the roses at all times lest we forget how our mini Ghandis are making huge impacts on everyone’s lives simply by existing.

However, then you see the flip side of that coin in various fb posts, chain emails, and etsy posters that tell you to make sure your kids know the value of a dollar, don’t have electronics or cable tv, certainly they should be making carpets or otherwise earning their keep lest they become bloodsucking leeches on the ass of society. Because if you baby them and never make them feel bad about themselves they will never go to college or amount to anything.

This rant brought to you by a FB post about every day with a child being precious (what about people without children? Bah, empty lives). I gush about the awesomeness of my midgets on a regular basis but I’d like to think I don’t cause you to engage your gag reflex or throw something against a wall.

Kids are ungrateful little bastards who are always trying to get one more thing out of you, win your favour, gain superiority over siblings, and get away with doing less around the house. That’s a fact. They are human, not angels. The big plus side to reproducing, in my opinion, is that you have your very own sociological experiment. You get to watch first hand how a human brain develops and evolves. Genetics = fun!

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