Crap crap crap

I always do this. I romanticize NOT working in an office. Must. Stop.


And we’re back

Feels comfortable I suppose. Good to put on the yoke and get back to work, etc. Any more time off and I might keep questioning my life’s path.

Fiscal cliff aside, are we doing what’s best for our future? I thought I knew what I wanted for my children: after high school go to university, then get a career started, find a mate, have kids, etc. Basically, the same thing I have done. And the cycle continues? Is this really what I want for them? Ok if I’m honest I really just want the first 2 things for them. After that I hope they lead a more creative, daring, inspiring life than I have led.

My day-to-day is all about putting in time at a cube farm and then fighting fatigue while making dinner and getting kids to their activities that are supposed to enrich them and give a solid foundation for their future. Everything I do during an average week is directed toward the betterment of my midgets. I suppose this is typical? I don’t know. Seems like it’s very common for parents to work and care for children, and complain about how hard it is. And then to hide behind humour when complaining about the drudgery.

Where did I go wrong when I didn’t get rich so I could afford live-in help? It takes a village to raise a child, don’t you know? Husband and I have recently been talking about moving to a more affordable city.

The advantages: no mortgage, and perhaps geographically closer to my parents, no more big city gouging (sticker renewals, property taxes, utilities, land transfer taxes, parking)
The disadvantages: much less income, how to maintain my midgets’ relationship with their dad (if he allows it to happen in the first place — I wouldn’t), how to financially establish ourselves in a new town, and we would be living in a town that would probably not be racially diverse.

I look around our house and I realize I love it. I don’t want to move. Eventually (in about 2 years by my calculations) we will be able to afford to give up the basement rental income, so we will have plenty of room for all. I have moved what I consider many times, buying and selling, etc, and so for me to say I actually want to STAY where I am is huge. We are finally in a good neighbourhood, with good nosy neighbours, good real estate value, good distance from downtown. We are also close to midgets’ dad, which is key to keeping the kids shuttled back and forth with little effort.

Wait, I got off track again. I have resigned myself to living this life arrangement until the girl midget is launched, hopefully when she is finished high school. Then I will have more freedom to live elsewhere on this planet, and explore my career options a little bit. I hope I don’t forget to do that, to think about myself and my own needs, to get out of my comfort zone.