Nice Saturday morning. Sunny and snowy.
In a few hours my midgets will be here. I will ask them to go sledding. I will laugh with them in the crisp air amid the shouts from all the other kids sliding down the local snow hill. Sometimes winter is pretty great.
I remember spending many an hour as a child on a snowy farm, building forts and snow slides. Obvs if I grew up in a warmer clime I would have different amber coloured memories. My memories almost seem like an old home movie with crackles and pops.
Having midgets is great for getting a second chance to do kid stuff. Also helps you remember old songs and rhymes that would otherwise be lost in the cobwebs. Having and raising midgets is the hardest most rewarding mountain I’ve ever climbed. But if I never had them I would have found some other life goal to pursue I’m sure. Reproducing is not the end all, be all in this life. Neither is marriage for that matter.
Humans are programmed to partner up and that’s fine for most. Marriage is another thing entirely and is oft a subject of serious argument. I once read a book called “Against Love: A Polemic”, written by Laura Kipnis. It’s a well-constructed argument against marriage. If you are fighting the tide of Let’s Get Married, this is the book for you.
I enjoy being married to my husband, that’s no secret. But our relationship is based more on friendship and enjoying each other’s company than it is on raising a brood together. When I met husband I was not auditioning him for the role of father. Obvs my kids already have one of those and despite my own issues with him, I will never do anything to diminish that relationship. Fathers are terribly important. I often talk about their dad to them in glowing terms and tell our midgets about happy times we have all had together. I guess that’s why I find his underlying hostility so disheartening. I’m not negative about him to our midgets. Not ever. And even when discussing him in this public forum I think I’ve been fairly sparse with the details. I absolutely get frustrated with him at times and vent accordingly. I’m not a saint.
Whatever else he might be, he is their father. He and I work together to make sure we both figure largely in the lives of our midgets. That needs to be said. When I have been sick or travelling he has often stepped in to help. I do the same for him because I want to. Just because a marriage ends doesn’t mean it failed. I learned a great deal during our relationship, about myself, and I grew up a lot too. Not to mention we got 2 great kids out of the deal, enduring symbols of what was once a great love.