The changing landscape of my desk job

I have worked at the same company for over 7 years. Until late last year my job was the same since I started. I have had many different managers here. This is all fine with me; I just want to do the writing and editing I’ve grown to love doing.

That changed late last year when the company significantly restructured the functional teams and reporting structures. At this time many managers and a director or 2 were paid off/laid off. The remaining employees, of which there are many, have kept ticking along as expected. I have great work friends and I figured in good time I would get a handle on my new job here.

In the past month or so, I know personally 3 people who have gone on stress leave and a few more who would like to. Today I just about burst into frustrated tears. Never before have I been made to feel like an underling. Or if I have, I have forgotten and so this feels like a new experience. I have a good deal of seniority and I am trusted to get the work done as expected.

Lately though, and culminating today, I feel set up to fail. Admittedly I don’t fully understand my job functions although I have tried to learn my new duties and roles. My manager is an earnest smart person who almost never has time to help me. I’m meeting all sorts of dead ends while I’m trying to discover very basic information to complete the documents everyone is clamouring for. I’m at my wit’s end, frankly and I feel very disappointed.

We go off to work assuming and hoping our managers and VPs are smarter than we are and they know what they’re doing. After all we are giving them a lot of our time and trading for a salary to create a life during our off hours. When the day arrives as it always does to shatter your beliefs, the result is crushing disappointment, uncertainty and insecurity.

I may have mentioned we bought a house recently. Now comes the very hard part of readying our current house for sale. I have been systematically going through all drawers, closets, cupboards and other nooks and crannies to get rid of surplus stuff. To say I’m tired stressed and preoccupied would be accurate. Let’s add to this then my job uncertainty and see what we get — an overwhelmed woman having heart palpitations. A woman trying to understand the sparse info given that’s relevant to her work while also trying not to be discouraged by the lack of real support.


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