Now I have to go through school again. I know ‘good’ parents are supposed to want to micromanage their kids’ lives in addition to all the other crap we must do as adults (you know, like clean, cook, work all effing day and be their servants all evening). The reality is that often I rely on my smart, well-adjusted midgets to remember to do their own homework, keep their school agendas handy, and keep their class notes organized. Yes of course I ask questions, and I TRY to make sure they are equipped for the school day.
Well, I just got off the phone with boy’s teacher and apparently boy has been a major slacker. Added to that is the fact that boy has been a total stinker when it comes to keeping his room clean (or rather, clean in my opinion not his). Husband took a photo of his room (that he said he had cleaned this morning before school after I had asked him to do it) and the room was not a disaster but not clean either. (see photo at top of this post)
When I ask boy a question, I trust he is telling me the truth in response. Duh. Stupid me:
“Where’s your school agenda?” — “At school.”
“What homework do you have?” — “I already did it.”
Here’s what his teacher has said his answers are:
“My agenda is at home, I forgot it.”
“My homework is at home, I forgot it.”
Now I know grade 7 has been quite a shock to wonder-boy’s system. School has always been easy for him and also sort of boring. This year is harsh reality as it is for many children in 7th grade. I remember my own 7th grade, and that was a long time ago, so that should tell you how tough it was. But I managed to get through it, I complied with teachers’ orders and put on the yoke that is grade 7 and above. It’s necessary, and he needs to get ‘er done.
I’m at a loss as to how to support him in this crucial school year. I don’t want to become his jailer and I would LOVE to be able to ask a question and get the truth out of him. I am a little pissed off that boy is now lying about school. First of all, how stupid does he think I am? Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical, smart ass. Second of all, how stupid is he to think this course of action is sustainable? Third, why does he suddenly hate school?
Boy is just starting to figure out he is a cog in a wheel and it’s upsetting for him. He is starting to realize that, even though I seem to give him choices and autonomy, he in fact has no freedoms nor rights. Case in point is when I replaced cow milk with almond milk at our house. Boy was so angry and confused.
Boy: “Why do we have to eat what you tell us to eat, and why do you get to tell us what NOT to eat?”
Me: “Uh, because I’m the queen around here, that’s why. I decide every detail of your little life and I always have. This will end someday but not any day soon, so get used to it.” He didn’t like that. Again, duh.
I talk to boy all the time about school. I ask a lot of questions about his lessons and teachers, I care about his opinions, and I spend a good deal of time with him as part of our family group and 1 on 1, every week. I feel like I am doing everything right, and yet this crap jumps up and slaps me across my face.