An Oldie but a Goodie from 2006

Just re-read this email this morning. I had sent it to a friend back in 2006, describing my normal morning with my then 3 y.o., 5 y.o., and dog.

…This morning is a perfect example. Had the kids and dog. Woke up and had a good workout. Got the kids up and settled with their breakfast. Took a shower. Cut shower short to deal with 3 y.o. who peed her pants. Get everyone dressed. Get everyone to brush teeth. Deal with 3 y.o. who suddenly realizes she didn’t eat all of her Froot Loops(tm) and is devastated that I threw them out. Get everyone’s coats on, shoes on, and walk up the stairs, all while ignoring crying and whining, and having to threaten to leave said 3 y.o. at home alone if she doesn’t comply with orders. Calm down the barking dog. Think about how much my upstairs neighbours must hate me. Open the door and see that it’s raining. Run back down stairs to get boots and rain coats. Get kids out the door, find the dog who was next door at this point, and get everyone buckled into the car. Drive 5 minutes to Tim Horton’s to drop the kids with the sitter. Explain to 3 y.o. 300 times that she will not be getting any food at Tim Horton’s, no matter that she didn’t eat all of her cereal or any of her yogourt. Squelch feelings of being a bad mother, starving my child like that. Drop kids with the sitter. Drive car over to the street the house (which I still owned with my ex at the time) is on, park the car, and walk dog up to house. Drop dog off, inform ex that I will need car tonight again. Get on streetcar and go to work.

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My letter to Sun Life (after being denied reimbursement for orthotic inserts)

13 November 2012 at 11:40

 Dear Ms. XXXXX,

Please find the doctor referrals I posted in October. Yes I know this is difficult, as within your organization there are no guarantees the documentation I send will reach its intended recipient. Still, I thought I would give it a try. Because I mailed the originals to you previously, as required by your company, I would need to repeat the request for these forms at our own expense (time and money). Thanks for that, we don’t see our doctors often enough, nor spend enough of their time creating duplicate referrals. Furthermore a more detailed receipt from my chiropractor is not available without me driving across town to pick it up (taking time away from my job that lets me pay my Sun Life premiums), as he does not have a fax machine (and email is so old-fashioned compared to fax, especially scanned documents).

I can tell you; the method used to create the orthotics was foam casting. Michael and I each received 2 pairs of orthotics. Does that help? I have included here another Extended Health Claim form for orthotic inserts for my husband Michael and I.

As requested, here is my pertinent information:

Name: Tanya  

Reference number: xxxxxxxxxx

 Contract Number:  xxxxxxxxxxxx

 Member ID Number: xxxxxxxxxxx

Employer: xxxxx

 

The orthotic inserts allow us the luxury of walking a distance in excess of 10 feet. So yes I would say these appliances are medically necessary for every day function.

This is not the first pair of orthotics we have purchased. I have been through this process before and have not had to provide this much information in the past. But I figure you have a good reason to harass me and delay paying my claim, so I’m giving you as much info as possible. Did you know the previous orthotic inserts my husband and I received were provided by a Chiropodist? Mine didn’t help my plantar fasciitis at all (a condition that has plagued me for 12 years so far), and the orthotics provided to my husband caused his hip alignment to deteriorate to the point where he has developed sciatica (that’s a pain in the ass, in case you didn’t know).

Since this set of orthotic inserts (which are helping my husband and me go about our daily lives) has been provided by a lowly Chiropractor, perhaps you will require a retinal scan? How about a fingerprint? Would a passport number put your collective minds at ease?

Bonus Information: I am a mother of 5 children (2 bio and 3 step). We have 2 dogs in our household. My shoe size is women’s 7; my husband’s is men’s 10. I am a vegetarian. I am the middle child of 3, university educated, and a full-time employee.

Alternative Solutions:

buy an electric scooter; or
apply for long-term disability.

Hopefully I have forgotten to include some vital information so you can delay this reimbursement further. It gives me pleasure to continue our correspondence; after all my children eat dreams, our house is heated with stardust, and I never tire of filling our car’s gas tank with moonbeams. I know you need to tick off the right boxes so that you can request something else I haven’t included thus far. Otherwise you won’t know what outlandish documentation to request next.

Should there be any other hoops through which I must jump; please let me know. Obviously I delight in taking time out of my work day (which pays for my premiums to Sun Life) to complete this busy work.

Thanks for your attention in this matter!