Selfish

I have never been called this before. It’s not a word I would use to describe myself. Oblivious? Yes. Naive? Yes. Lack of Foresight? Hell yeah. Add to that Impulsive, Trusting, and Loose-Lipped. Lots of unflattering attributes, as I am a full-grown person who is not perfect. 

Last night I put my very tired girl midget to bed. She was so tired that she was crying. Inconsolable is how I would describe her, although eventually I was able to calm her down through lots of hair stroking and soft murmuring. She was quite wound up. Overall that bedtime took about 25 minutes. I then dragged myself to my own bed and announced my resignation from being a parent.

I feel I have a great situation going for me – consistent part time with my midgets – which leaves me ample private time on my own and with wonderful Husband. I’m fortunate to have a regular break, I really do believe that. I think nuclear families have it rough because nowadays people don’t tend to live close to their families, and so do not have trustworthy people to whom they can ship their kids for overnight visits. Because let’s face it: we can take way more advantage of our families than we can anyone else, even paid help.

I’m quite a loner and prefer to have my midgets with me in the same house but not in the same room, or at least we are each busy with our own activities. Although I have close friends and I talk to them regularly, I still like being on my own for most of the time. I do believe that’s because growing up, I read a lot of books to keep myself occupied, or I played outside in relative quiet, and was often caught daydreaming. In my own little world was I, and this was considered a bad thing at the time. I wasn’t paying attention, that’s true. 

 

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