I hate being divorced

…even though I’d be miserable if still married to husband #1.

Reason #1 why I hate being divorced: Applying for Child Passport Renewal.

Not only do I need all the bullshit paperwork required for such a thing (2 forms each (which are not easy to decipher, as you can imagine), standard pictures ($25 each thanks very much), signatures on all 4 pictures, old passports, birth certificates, guarantor. I also need the separation agreement (that a random official will go through with a fine-toothed comb, how fun) and the divorce decree.

I waited in the chairs, concentrating on staying calm in what surely is a perfect situation to lose one’s shit, and I played Solitaire on my phone for about 90 minutes. I finally made it to a counter! With a person behind it! How exciting!

But alas, I had forgotten my divorce decree. Fuck! Now I have to rely on my filing methods (fairly dodgy honestly) that I know where that decree is located. Plus, I can’t look for it right this minute because I am not at home. I am at work.

Reasons #2 – #1000 I hate being divorced: I feel like a failure.
I’ve opined often on this blog about how I needed to marry my first husband so that I could learn that’s not the relationship I wanted. And I have talked long and hard about how we are all making lemonade out of lemons by being amicable and keeping a peaceful as possible upbringing for our kids and our kids are doing just fine thanks. But deeeeeeeep down I wish I didn’t subject everyone, including me, to this sort of lifestyle. Because the life of a split family is a lifestyle choice. I’m having a bad day today, can you tell? Self-flagellation is the order of today.