The pants get higher and higher

I’m talking about actual pants, worn by people who are aging past 40, 50, 60, 70.

If you observe you’ll notice the older a man gets, the higher their waist gets, and so the higher they wear the waistband of their pants.

Women tend to wear more cropped pants as they get older. So the hemlines get higher. I’ve fallen victim to the same thing, because I feel more comfortable in cropped pants. I don’t even know why, but I do. I nearly didn’t recognize my own reflection, since I was wearing cropped pants, running shoes with short socks, and a hoodie; typical uniform of a mid-forties-and-older-woman. 

I saw a photo today of Simon Cowell, a man clinging to his youth if I’ve ever seen one: his shirt unbuttoned to his navel to display his cosmetically enhanced pecs and hair virile chest, but the telltale sign of aging is his pants. The waistband is at his navel as well. Tsk tsk Simon, spening all of that money on surgery and personal trainers, probably personal chefs too, and eating in restaurants with high-quality ingredients, all gone to waste! Because your waist (!) is too high.