I am feeling a lot more energetic and positive today, which isn’t really saying much but it’s something. At least I don’t want to put my head in an oven a la Sylvia Plath or stay in bed all day. I still feel very cynical about the world but I think that’s my normal neutral state, given that my life is currently made up of have-tos and shoulds.
I put up some shelves with husband this weekend, plus did some gardening. I also broke a wooden ceiling fan blade using my head. That’s what I get for standing on the bed without taking into account my head was then the perfect height for the ceiling fan to crash into the side of it. A few minutes later, after the feeling of blood rushing to the site of the injury subsided, I deemed myself to be ‘fine.’ A little bruised, but fine to proceed with our plans to improve our domicile.
The Binder People outside our office building are back in full force. Because I Am a Girl, Amnesty International, Greenpeace, Give Me Money Because We Need to Help Others Besides You. Srsly? I am taking care of my own family, I am a taxpayer, and I don’t litter. I support local commerce and I’m kind to children and animals. I also recycle and I’m starting to use the Green Bucket to collect the pet waste from our backyard. I think I deserve some credit for not causing any problems for society. I’m raising my children to be civilized responsible citizens, even! When I was a teenager, my reward for not causing trouble was the elimination of a curfew. The adult equivalent is….what? Starbucks takes pity on us bourgeousie who buy their products by giving out a free beverage after we accumulate 12 purchases.
Mother Theresa, who has proven to be a controverial figure but is still held up as an example of humanitarianism we should all strive to emulate, once said that if we want to promote world peace, we should start by going home and loving our family. Nearly every action every day is geared toward bettering my family. Every bit of folding laundry, cooking after a long fucking day of being unappreciated at work, grocery shopping, paying for piano lessons for which our offspring seldom practice, trusting the public education system because we can’t afford private school, general toiling, commuting, sleeping, setting an alarm clock, accepting criticism for not buying the right clothing for someone else, emptying the dishwasher, picking up dog poop, spraying febreeze, sweeping mud clumps off the floor, putting out the garbage and recycling on a strict schedule, sweeping leaves into a paper bag and setting that bag out at the street on specific yet random days, remind the offspring to clean their room (and I use the word ‘clean’ advisedly, since I can’t even get them to strip their bedsheets for laundering), clean themselves, help with homework, take the rap/shame from the school when offspring are late arriving there because it’s obvs my lack of good parenting that is causing the downfall of punctuality, remind offspring of forms and field trips, tell the dogs to shut up, teach the offspring how do chores to improve their character and help the household stay afloat neatness-and-sanity-wise, remember to make offspring do said chores, pay out weekly allowance, and pay each of the household bills. My second time through grade 7 is going well. By the third time I’ll have straight-As for sure.