I had to be at work a little earlier than usual today to attend a meeting. I got there on time, by the way.
Before that though, I had to take care of the morning tasks. My alarm went off at 6:45 am and I jumped out of bed. I got ready for the day in about 15 minutes, which is average for me. I’m pretty freakin’ fast, and able to do all of that while 2 dogs are hoping around me and pleading with their eyes to please hurry up so we can go to the beach.
Summer in our neighbourhood is wonderful, especially after a hard rain like we had last night. Last night was fine for me but traumatic for Ellie the retriever cross. Ellie is skeered of thunder, so much that she *pants* *pants* *pants* *pants* at my face while I’m lying in bed, for hours at a time. I’m surprised she doesn’t pass out. Last night she was so upset at mother nature that she was also loudly farting. Every 3 minutes or so I was treated to a loud reverberating sound of air escaping from her butt hole. After about 30 minutes of waiting it out, I couldn’t take anymore. I didn’t have any patience for her irrational fear of thunder at 1 am. I grabbed her by her collar and led her out of our bedroom, closing the door behind her. I have no doubt she slept right outside our door waiting for husband or I to open it. I feared for my shin bones when I opened our bedroom door this morning. Ellie makes her body into a battering ram when she needs to get through a door.
Anyway, I got boy midget out of bed and put the dogs in the car for a trip to the beach. Boy midget is a morning person like me, and he slept in his clothes last night. If this is his worst habit (which it is), I consider myself lucky. Although, he is entering the ‘stinky boy’ years, and he is the only one who doesn’t know it. I feel really bad about telling him his teeth need brushing or that he needs to develop a closer relationship with his deodorant because he looks so crestfallen. Just another unpleasant task of parenthood.
The dogs, the boy and I all went to the beach and slowly walked around in the off-leash area. During our walk, boy midget told me something funny that happened with his dad. I remarked that dad is funny (humorous) or something like that, and boy then said he doesn’t really understand why we broke up. I guess that question never really goes away for him (and probably not for girl midget either). I understand why it’s confusing for a child: how could you love someone so much that you get married and have children together, and then do a 180 and split up? To boy, that’s what our breakup feels like – abrupt and bewildering – and he believes his life would be so much better (and less confusing) if we were still together. I tried to explain it in a way he can understand, as a teen who is just beginning to consciously think about romantic relationships. I asked him if he understands dad is a perfectionist. Boy of course can see that with his own eyes. I reasoned that when dad and I were married, I thought he and I could work toward a middle ground with regard to compromises, because I am not a perfectionist at all. I’m an optimistic survivalist! One day, I suddenly realized compromise and change in our marriage was a pipe dream (where did that term originate? I must look it up), and so I knew we needed to split up since we were never going to see eye to eye on everyday life happenings. It’s the everyday crap that makes or breaks your level of happiness in a relationship. When there is a constant conflict, that adds a nice thick layer of stress to an already stressful everyday of a 2-income 2-kid household.
Opposites attract but they do not last.
That’s about as far as I got in my discussion with boy midget, because that’s all he wanted to hear. “Fine fine fine mom.” He made a declaration a few months ago that, for the record, he is attracted to girls. Yes, just like that. I’m confident these discussions will occur again and again for the next 10 years at least. I feel like I sort of fumbled the conversation this morning, so I’m glad I’ll get another chance.