I’ve been called fickle, impulsive (the bad kind, and yes there is a good kind), rash, careless, short-sighted. Wow I suck, huh? No not really. I’m simply a many-faceted adult, same as everyone else.
I’m not fickle, though. I love being a Mom, I just need a little break now and then and I need to see the fruits of my labours. When I see my midgets acting generously with others, showing kindness and patience, and being socially smart, I feel like I’m doing a good job.
I don’t feel ambivalent about being a parent, even though boy midget is no longer a midget and is now a Sullen Teen ™ with a split personality that comes along with that age. I swear he noticeably grew in height during this past week. He eats for 2, sleeps for 3, has opinions for 4, and yet I don’t want to kill him. Same as when he was a baby, when no matter how many times he woke me in the night for no good reason that I could figure out, or how many times he mightily pooped his diaper at the most inopportune times, I didn’t want to erase his existence. That fierce love you feel for your children is impossible to describe, but I try here occasionally.