Deathly Fear of Happiness

Everything will be destroyed. My heart will be broken slowly over time. and I will be unhappy, so let’s get it over with. There is no happy ending to love and marriage.

Husband and I are insanely happy together, but some day one of us will die, leaving the other all alone. And while I do enjoy my alone time, I really like having husband live with me. So this will be a huge bummer.

Also, I’m starting to think parenting is useless. Children grow up to be who they were always meant to be. Their personalities of mine were noticeable since they were aged 3 months old. Mostly I want them to go to post-secondary school and never get a tattoo. Everything else, such as their behaviours, interests, and personal habits are secondary and beyond my control.


One thought on “Deathly Fear of Happiness

  1. I do not think about the end too much
    in the middle of the night after a hearty pee, sometimes I see the ephemeral nature of things. All that I love will be gone one day. I will be like a tune that is remembered, hummed by all those I knew and loved.
    It is poetic really. but GODDAMN am I ever happy now!!!!! Ye HA!!!!!


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